Publication: Syracuse New Times
Author: Griffin-Nolan, Ed
Date published: February 10, 2010
Author: Griffin-Nolan, Ed
Date published: February 10, 2010
Muna Tadros' long journey to Syracuse began on a flight from Amman, Jordan, to Germany. From there she and her two children boarded a plane to Miami, transferred to another plane to Chicago, and then made it to Syracuse, arriving last April. On each leg of the trip she was accompanied by her children, a doctor assigned to her by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, and a great sadness caused by the realization that she might never see her husband again.
Tadros, an Iraqi native now living in the Hawley-Green neighborhood, had been living in near exile in Jordan since 1994. She and her husband Ahmed left their home country after she fell out of favor with the government of Saddam Hussein.
Tadros once held a clerical position in an Iraqi government office. When she quit her job, though, she found herself caught in a Hotel California type of situation: You may be able to check out from the government, but you can never leave. Barred from leaving Iraq legally, a stranger provided Tadros an exit visa sealed in an envelope.
With those papers she crossed from Iraq to neighboring Jordan where she set up a life with her husband and their first child, Omar. In Jordan she worked as a studio photographer doing portraits and an event photographer snapping images at weddings and corporate meetings. Her husband made a living as a mechanic. Their daughter Samar, now 13 and a student at H.W. Smith School, was born in Amman in 1996.
After Ahmed returned to Baghdad in 2004 to assist his ailing parents, he lost his legal status in Jordan. Between 2005 and 2007, Muna and the children visited him regularly. "The trip was very dangerous, but we trusted that God would take care of us, and the children needed to see their father. Ahmed could not get out of Iraq, and Jordan wouldn't take him back."
The country was unrecognizable from the one they had left in the mid-1990s. Samar tells the story of riding on a Baghdad street when men with machine guns and their faces covered stopped the car in front of them. "It was so ugly," she said while sitting on a sofa in the apartment. "They shot him, and took his car, and they told everyone that whoever comes to claim his body will also get killed. For three days his body lay there in the street."
On their final visit in 2007 a Shiite militia took over their bus. Eight men were ordered off the bus-they were later found executed. Further up the road, a second group of gunmen forced Omar, then 16, to go with them. Now 19, Omar is a senior at Nottingham High School.
Even today his mother cries as she speaks of the terror of having him dragged from her arms, screaming at the intruders to take her too. "I had to touch him and say a prayer for him, and talk to the men with guns to try to save my son's life." For hours that seemed like days the gunmen held him out of her sight. When he was released, they resumed their journey, but she knew they would never set foot in Iraq again. In her dark eyes you can see the sadness she harbors at the divisions that have overtaken her native land. "When I got back to Jordan I asked myself-what has happened to the Iraqi people? We have a good heart, but something has happened to us.
"Before all this there was no Sunni or Shiite, we were all Iraqis. Now, even when the armies leave, it will be Iraqis killing Iraqis." She blames neighboring Iran for much of the country's problems. The Islamic republic's growing influence has divided neighbors and families. "Are you with Sadr or Zarqawi?" demanded the men who took her son, referring to rival Iraqi militia leaders. "How can he even know of such things? I told them, 'He is just a boy. We don't even live in Iraq anymore. We don't follow anything.'"
In early 2007 word came that Ahmed had left his brother's house in Baghdad to visit his mother. He never arrived. In the climate of the times, the family feared the worst. For nearly three years they had no word from him. Stress took a heavy toll on Muna's health.
"My health was very bad," she said. "I went to many doctors. I can remember waking up to see my children praying over me. They said I may have depression. Finally a Jordanian doctor said I may have adrenal problems."
During surgery in Jordan, her heart stopped. Doctors revived her, but their efforts left her with several broken ribs and other complications. The surgery was never completed, and doctors advised her to seek treatment in the United States.
Once the family made it to Syracuse, Catholic Charities helped settle them into their apartment. Muna's health problems continued and she was hospitalized at St. Joseph's on three separate occasions. There she befriended a physician assistant, Kara Timmons, who has helped the family and become close friends with all three of them. Friends from a Syracuse support group, Women Transcending Boundaries, helped take care of the children during her first hospitalization, bringing them to visit her and taking them in.
One evening, Samar was at home when the phone rang. She heard a man's voice on the other end of the line saying her name. "I was like, 'Hello,' and then I was like, 'Who are you?' and he was like, 'I'm your father.'" Samar, now a bright-eyed young teen in blue jeans, is a high honor roll student who dreams of becoming a pediatrician.
"I didn't know what to do," said Samar, "so I was like, 'Omar, there's this guy on the phone saying he's our dad.'" Omar took the phone. "He was like, 'What is my mother's name? What is my grandmother's name? What does our house look like?' All sorts of questions like that." Finally satisfied that the man was in fact their father, they gave him the number in the hospital.
"When he first called, I was like in a dream," said Muna. "I couldn't believe it." As it turned out, Ahmed had stepped out of his sister's house to find an envelope with three bullets. He knew the meaning of it: His friend had received such a note and been executed the following day. With the help of his employer, Ahmed fled north to the Kurdish area of Iraq. He let time pass, and worked his way back to Baghdad and eventually secured passage to Syria, where by chance he ran into Muna's sister in Damascus. She gave him the phone number of the apartment on Green Street, and the families' dream of being reunited reawakened.
The family has been working with friends to try to bring Ahmed here from Turkey, where he now lives. Through the office of Rep. Dan Maffei, they have secured a visa for him, and are hoping that he will be able to join them. "Within two months," said Samar, "I hope to see my father again." She holds a photo of him in a snowstorm in Amman. "I've seen him on the Internet," she noted. "He has more white hair. He looks a little older now."
Ahmed's 50th birthday is in late March, and the family hopes they can celebrate this milestone together. "Inshallah," said Muna. "If it be the will of God." She smiles a smile that makes her seem 10 years younger. "We have had so many problems, but now when I think of him coming back to us, I have hope."
-ED GRIFFIN-NOLAN